Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Two more things

In my last post, I was telling y'all how God has been teaching me a lot of things lately. Well, here are TWO more things I've been learning from God. (More like three, but two are wrapped up in the first point here.)

  1. Burdens. A couple weeks ago, I told this annoying guy at my church how I really feel about him: he disgusts me. But apparently, he didn't take it to heart. He's still a jerk, he still flirts with me and every girl, still makes inappropriate jokes, and still insults people on a regular basis. I got the lecture from my mom and sister in-law about words. I mean, I know how powerful words are, but I mean seriously. It's not like I yelled at him. But I took what my mom and sister in-law said to heart. And since then I've been trying to think before I speak, especially around him. My point here is, this guy is a burden in my life. So are many other people, like Obama, "Christians", and just idiotic people. (Idiotic people to me are people who support Obama and Hillary Clinton. You know what I mean.) Lately, the argument about the Starbucks holiday cup has gotten Christians angry and offended. Just because the cup is red and "not Christmas-y enough." Seriously.? Christians are supposed to be loving and filled with Christ. Those outspoken Christians are ruining Christ's and His followers' reputation. They fight for a cause more than they fight for a person. They are self-righteous. That is not what Christians are supposed to be like! We are supposed to put Christ first, not a cause -- no matter how honorable the cause may be. The fuss they put up is not honoring to God. And those kinds of people are my burden. My burden is to love them, to be Christ-like to them, and not to get offended by their offense. And in order for that to happen, I need to be open to what God is teaching me.
  2. Loving others. Yes, I kind of covered that point already, but this is a little different. Lately, my best friend B has been going through a rough time. And I've always been here for her, and she's always done the same for me too. And I tell her this every time we speak. But I don't know if I've truly been a good friend for her lately. I tell her how much I love her, how I'll never leave her side, how God will never leave her, then a couple minutes later I'll post something and tag her in it. Something that relates to us. Telling her how much I love her. And this is kinda a confusing topic: what should I say? Yes, I should tell her something funny to lift her spirits, and tell her how much I love her, but I can over-do it, especially now. I know you can never over-do telling someone how much you love them, but is there a limit? Does that make sense? Like, I'll tell her how much I love her, but then a minute later, I'll tell her how great she is a friend for me. Like I'm selfish type of thing. Love isn't selfish. I do truly love her, but I shouldn't tell her how much she is great friend, comparing her to others. That's selfish and wrong. So I shouldn't be selfish, but I also let up on telling her how much I love her.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

So many things

Sorry I haven't written in a while. God's been teaching me a lot lately. Like a lot.

  1. So, last month we had revival services at my church. That week, God taught me a lot about prayer: that we should pray for His glory, that we should pray for His Name to be glorified, that His kingdom be spread, that His Will be done. Lots about prayer. Sometimes I feel like I can't pray. Like I want to, but I'm not able to. As if, a mute button was pressed on my praying. And I didn't know why. But God revealed to me that I had sin in my life that wasn't taken care of. Sin keeps us from doing what God wants us to, like praying and spreading the Gospel. And now, as I do my devotions, I still want to pray, but I don't. And that's my sin: knowing I should, but still not doing it. God has revealed a lot about prayer.
  2. God has been showing me about myself too. Who I should be and what should be doing. 
  3. You all know I have a past that I'm not proud of. Well, a lot lately, I have been struggling with something related to it. And this giant in my life I can't seem to get rid of. And then God convicts me of it, and then I confess it and "repent" it. And then I'm good for a few weeks. Then it tempts me, and I give in again. And the cycle continues. (The temptation comes when I'm busy doing something, like school or devotions, so it distracts me.) But last Wednesday, I did it again. And I ended on my bedroom floor, in fetal position, bawling my eyes out. I was so convicted. Since then I have been tempted, but I haven't given in because I start reciting verses to myself and singing hymns. And I begin to think, Why didn't I do this in the beginning?! Since I repented, my prayer life has been better. I can't explain it. It's like God has awakened me again. And it's amazing. Yes, I don't pray as often as I should, but I pray more often than when I was in that sin. And God has been changing my life. Usually I don't like talking to people about this, cuz then I start to think about it and I fall back, but I've found lately that talking about it makes it easier to deal with cuz I know people will pray for me and also relate to me. And it's amazing what God is doing!
  4. I have been feeling God's call for me to be a missionary. I mean, I felt that God called me in February, but lately there have been missionaries visiting my church and I feel the call beckoning me more and more. So I've been looking for opportunities to go somewhere, like missions trips and working at camps. And next year, I have an opportunity to work at a camp in northern Wisconsin. But my parents are still thinking about it, cuz the camp is 9 hours north of us. So we really have to think and pray about it.
Well, four things may not be a lot, but it's a lot for me! And they're big things in my life that are going to change me! And it's been hurting a little cuz of things that going to be change and nobody likes change; but it's still so amazing!!!!!