Thursday, March 17, 2016

Fighting addictions

(NOTE: If my first few paragraphs seem disconnected, they will connect later in the post)

In my last post, I resolved to not listen to Taylor Swift and other artists like her. Well... I didn't keep up that resolve. No surprise. I was so determined, yet so weak. I am weak. And back then, Taylor Swift was my addiction. Well, I'm over that addiction. But now I have another addiction to get rid. And that addiction is a result of my past mistakes.
My past mistakes... I talk about them a lot. Why? Cuz they've impacted my life in a way that I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't done them. But those addictions I had in my past, have caught up with me (indirectly) and I'm addicted to something again.
My music choices resolve from January was going really good! Until I started listening to Taylor Swift on the radio again. Then I started listening to other artists again. And I failed. Again. And I listened and did the same thing I did when I was listening to it: I'm not listening to the "bad" music and I'm still listening to Christian music. But me saying that is kinda like a person saying, "Oh, I live this way but I go to church on Sundays, so I'm okay." Let me tell you this: IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!!
Then I started exposing myself to other stuff on YouTube. And then I wanted more and more. And now it's bad habit to do it.

And I can't stop.

Two things influenced me to this point: my excuses, and my music choices. I'm that kind of person that is so easy to manipulate and so easy to influence. Everything I see influences me in either a positive or a negative way. Mostly negative when it comes to music and TV.  My music choices led me to make excuses.My excuses led to me to do more. More led to more. Then, I was addicted.

I need help.
I am failing.
I am going downhill in my relationship with Christ.
Only one thing can save me: Christ. My relationship with Christ, the one that's going downhill, can save me. I just need to depend on Him. I need His help. I need accountability. I need to remember my resolve.

If you're battling an addiction or a bad habit, DON'T WAIT TO GET IT FIXED. DON'T ENJOY YOUR TIME WITH IT! Cuz then if you enjoy it, you'll want more and more and then... BOOM! you're addicted. DON'T WAIT!! Go to Christ immediately! It'll take time and lots of patience and lots of love and lots of accountability, but it's so worth it!

1 comment:

  1. wow. Heidi, I've always loved reading your posts, and I think honestly that one of the major reasons is that I relate so much with you. in life. in my every day living. and you write exactly the things I feel so often, and it's just so amazing.

    I know exactly what you mean about backsliding spiritually and falling in weakness. haha, youtube is one of the biggest "snares" for me. and honestly, I found that when I took it to God and promised Him I wouldn't touch it, for, say, a week, and I didn't, I felt so much more refreshed and invigorated than before. quite honestly, right now, with God's grace, I'm doing better on that. for me personally, secular music was never a temptation that much, since I just was never allowed to really listen to it and I still don't. but movies and books and things like that were really, really, big, like, snares from satan. But GOD IS VICTOR AND HE'S THE CREATOR AND MAKER OF MERCY AND GRACE. <3


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