So if you read the previous post, you'd know that I struggle with an addiction related to my past. Well, for the past two months, I've been getting better and I've been trusting God, and whenever I was tempted, I would call to God. But the past two weeks, I've been weak and failing. And I've been feeling so dirty, no matter how many times I've begged and pleaded God to make me clean. I've been constantly praying Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
Last night was the worst.
I can't tell you how many times I've begged God to help me, to give me His strength.
I am held captive where I shouldn't be held captive anymore.
It's time to break free.
I need only 2 things: 1) God's strength and 2) my trust in Him.
So from this day, May 25, 2016, I am going to fight for my spiritual life. I am going to put on the armor of God. I am going to break free. I am going to forgive myself as God has forgiven me. I am not going to listen to that voice in my head that says it's okay. I am going to trust only God. I will constantly ask God for His strength.
It's about time. . .
God's strength and grace and love is really all we ever need in life besides the physical needs. He is all we need. And I've been leaving Him, and doing my own thing, and thinking that I'll be okay. I'm not okay. But with God's help and strength, I'll do better. And I just need to trust Him, and constantly pray.